Almost as Scary as LinkedIn
Boo, y’all. I wrote a handsomely produced spooky story for the Full Body Chills podcast.
The Creative Criticism Collection
Some of my more memorable (or recurring) bits of professional feedback interpreted as feature films.
Dirty Limericks, Scrubbed
Yes, I actually write one of these a day, usually as a sign of interest in a disinterested pursuit. [Warning: childish humor ahoy.]
It’s been said Rainbow Ron had sex appeal /
Bright red hair, blue-green eyes, the whole color wheel /
He wore yellow trousers /
Walked dyed-orange schnauzers /
Had a brown hat, purple cat, and a cockatiel.
Wendy, a lady most bendy /
Sought-after party attendee /
Flexed so sublime /
You’d at the same time /
Admire both her smile and rear end-y.
There once was a chef from Bellini /
Who was master at making panini /
Sometimes, off the clock /
He’d also sleep-walk /
Which explained the grill marks on his weenie.
Up his ass Kevin keistered a candle /
An eggplant, a Coke can, a sandal /
Then he tried his lot /
On his auntie’s soup pot /
But on it ain’t quite got the handle.
The top-heavy woman was blessed /
With a disproportionately large chest /
Unsure on her feet /
She fell in wet concrete /
Where she continues to impress.
A man, with his self-worth in question /
Encountered a bout of depression /
This gave an excuse /
For more self-abuse /
Cuz that’ll teach him a lesson.